ACTORS Extra Edition 1

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TRACK ONE:甲斐の華麗なるカレー [Kai’s Brilliant Curry]

(title is supposed to be a pun: it goes ‘Kai no kareinaru kare’. Amazing.)

I want to have Kai make my meals for me everyday, too. Full text under the cut.

Mike: “…that’s what I want to know, myself. Why Chiguma is here.”
Chiguma: “Do you have to ask ‘why’…? I’m just helping him make curry.”
Mike: “You damned dog! You told Chiguma, but you kept it a secret from me!?”

The track starts off with (frying??) noises, and Kai humming to himself.

Scene switches to Mike’s POV – it’s break time, damn it, he’s hungry, where the hell is that damned dog Kai? Did that guy get a cold or something? Where is he and where the hell is Mike’s damned food?? He goes to Kai’s classroom to ask if he’s around (Mike dipping in and out of his pleasant public-voice and his S-mode voice is hilarious, btw), and comes out of it finding out that no, Kai hasn’t left, and yes, he’s still around here somewhere. So Mike goes walking around to continue his search…and eventually sees Kai, making curry.

Again, apparently, or so Mike says. Kai says he’s making curry ‘cuz didn’t Mike keep on smiling when he ate Kai’s curry yesterday? (? not so sure about this part) Mike insists that never happened, and that he most definitely was not smiling. (He probably was, though.)

Chiguma returns from somewhere (a shop?), saying it’s a good thing that they had that brand in stock…only to then ask what Mike is doing there. Mike says actually, he’s the one who’s supposed to ask why Chiguma’s the one there in the first place?? Chiguma says he’s just helping Kai make curry. Mike seethes at Kai for telling Chiguma about his plans and not him, what kind of dumbass dog is he. (Basically the convo up top.)

Kai says that of course he didn’t feel like he needed to tell Mike ‘cuz he’s never been really interested in the ‘making’ part of meals anyway? (‘Cuz he’s too fixated on the ‘eating’ part to notice anything else, lol.) Mike turns it around on him and says that the least Kai could do is tell him where the hell he’s going…and eventually asks what kind of curry they’re making today. Kai’s surprised – wasn’t Mike the one who keeps going on and on about Kai always making damned curry over and over again? Mike goes, “huh? So you were affected but just that!?” “You’re horrible, those words were not ‘just that’!” Kai puts great pride in his curry-making skills, after all. He even got their club adviser’s approval – if he pulls this recipe off, Washiho-sensei will give them extra points.

(Plot context: the extracurricular clubs of our setting, Tensho Academy, have some point system where the club that collects the most points wins. Think the house point system in Hogwarts. Having them sing all the time is supposed to tie in with this – the Deluxe Duet Edition’s fancy dress contest was supposed to give a bunch of points to the winning pair. In this respect the boys’ Archeology Club has a consistently high ranking, something that keeps getting referred to here.)

Mike is in shock – what the hell, they’re getting points for curry now? The hell does that have to do with archeology? Apparently it was something about them being able to do club work better if they got to enjoy the curry Kai made properly. Their adviser really is the best, isn’t he? Chiguma wishes their club would get points for his rare items in games, too. Mike shatters his dreams by saying it’s hella impossible.

Kai’s making a beef-tomato curry, mild spice level – he did this from scratch, forming his own blend of spices himself. He then goes off to say all the spices he used in his recipe, shocking Chiguma into amazement. Mike says they should shut up and get to the eating part, he’s not getting any less damned hungrier here. Kai says they’re just waiting for the rice, now. Actually, most curries taste better about an hour or two after cooking (?) but his recipe tastes better immediately after he cooks – good for Mike-kun, right? Cuz he’s hella hungry and wants his food now?

Damned right, Kai. Is he sure this experiment isn’t gonna turn out tasting bad? Kai asks, if one’s hungry, doesn’t anything taste good to them anyway? Actually he has a tomato and some salt, would this be enough to tide him over? Mike seethes at him again, only to be interrupted by the rice cooker going off. As far as serving size goes, Mike gets an o-mori (like, a serving modeled after an entire damned mountain), and Chiguma gets a normal serving.

Kai has apricot jam to serve with the curry as well (this is probably what he had Chiguma buy earlier?), and Mike quips that he’s being like a kid, mixing his food, but Kai insists no, the balance between flavors would be spectacular! Mike says he doesn’t care, as long as he gets to eat…he says this is just a normal beef curry, what’s different about it? Kai says he should mix in the other ingredients too, not just the meat. So he tries again.

Chiguma heaps praise on the curry, and Mike goes the tsundere role and says “well…it’s not horrible.” This alone makes Kai very happy, haha, so cute. Later Mike gets into the eating zone so much he almost chomps down on a laurel leaf – Kai thinks he should at least look at the things he puts in his mouth before he eats them! Mike says nah, isn’t eating on and on like this normal? (For him, at least.)

Kai says, Mike-kun, if you actually think my cooking is delicious, you know you can just say it properly, outloud, right? Mike doesn’t do anything to protest or concede to this allegation…but asks for seconds anyway. (Take note that, if this recording was supposed to have been made in real time, he’d only eaten the first o-mori serving in one minute. One friggin’ minute.)

They still end up with too much curry than could probably be shared by just three people, so they decide to share the leftovers with a bunch of guys (one of them was the classmate Kai’s who Mike had been talking to earlier), who’ll go out to buy drinks. Kai likes the idea of having this ‘curry party’. Mike doesn’t like this – what about his share of the curry? Kai asks, wait, didn’t you already have seconds? Don’t tell me you can still have more!? Of course he does!! Actually he needs a third serving now (It’s been three minutes.) (Oh my god, Mike, how the hell are you packing this all in!?), which Kai gives him.

Eventually the three lapse into a convo of sorts that I can’t really understand, but basically Kai doesn’t mind treating everyone to curry (out of his own funds!!) ‘cuz as long as he gets to make curry, he’s happy, anyway. He asks Mike for help to polish off the rest of the leftover curry (“It’s such a pain…but fine.”), and asks Chiguma for help with something (? maybe clearing the plates?) too.


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TRACK TWO: 千熊の生態観察 [Ecological Observation of Chiguma]

(title is supposed to read like the header of some kind of report – in the sense that it’s kind of like saying something along the lines of “Observing the Chiguma in his natural habitat” or something, lol)

Chiguma talks to girls and doesn’t run away from them. At all. His two club buddies are shocked.

Chiguma: “Isn’t it dangerous that you’re carrying all these boxes by yourself? If you want, I can help you carry half!”
Mike: “…hey, hey. Chiguma’s having a proper conversation with that girl! He’s not even running away!”
Kai: “He does seem like a capable guy, huh?”

Track starts with Mike and Kai walking home from Mike’s soccer club practice. Kai says something about Mike juggling two clubs at once, isn’t that too selfish? (Another point he touches on in track three – we learn that Kai says Mike’s ‘being selfish’, because he had Kai quit the basketball team for the archeology club.) Mike says it’s not really being ‘selfish’, ‘cuz as long as he has the capacity to juggle both clubs it’s not really like anyone could stop him? Anyway.

Some way or another the convo goes into matters regarding Chiguma and how if he starts a new game neither of them could get a word with him, he’s just so much in the zone it hurts. But when it comes to fieldwork, he’s the most earnest/honest/sincere/hardworking (how the hell do I accurately pronounce majime) of all! Mike doesn’t get how a damned game otaku can be that damned good at anything else (?); Kai thinks Mike in this state is hella scary, but admits that he is also interested in finding out how Chiguma’s popularity works, himself. Eventually they decide to meet up and watch Chiguma go about his day tomorrow.

(Mike’s the one who comes up with the idea, mainly ‘cuz Kai finishes his sentence for him, these two are such dorks I just want them to exchange sarcastic remarks and enormous amounts of food until they’re old and grey, IS THIS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO ASK)

Time skip to the day after. Mike is understandably surprised when a bunch of girls greet Chiguma ‘good morning’, and he doesn’t even run away. (Like I said in their character profiles, Chiguma’s weakness happens to be ‘girls his age’. He and KnB’s Yukio Kasamatsu should probably form a club.) Eventually a bunch of guys – from his class, maybe? One of ‘em calls him just ‘Chiguma’ – greet him and he gets to talking with them. Kai thinks he’s cool. Mike thinks it’s ridiculous how well he gets along with both guys and girls.

Opening his locker – oh my god, is there a damned love letter in Chiguma’s locker?? They think this girl standing off to herself in the side might be the one who put it there but they can’t be too sure? Anyway. Off to class they go.

Next scene happens during what I presume to be lunch break. Chiguma seems to be having lunch by himself – he gives off the feel of someone people hesitate to approach? (Profile says he has a ‘mysterious charm’, after all) Eventually this guy asks for help with Japanese poetry and Chiguma says he’ll help him figure out the best way to memorize the passage. He turns out to be really good at this. I think he uses manga language to describe a way of memorization halfway through but I’m not really sure??

Anyway Kai muses that instead of being ‘Chiguman-senpai’ he’s more of a ‘Chiguman-sensei’ right now, and Mike takes note of him being smart. A girl approaches him and asks for help too – Mike seems to be worrying about Chiguma’s girl-fright striking again, but his fears are unfounded, since Chiguma ends up tutoring her normally. Mike thinks that the swim club’s Kiyosu (Takato, Chiguma’s partner in the Deluxe Duet Edition for ‘Remocon’) and Hanakuma (Ryuunosuke, the one Daisuke Ono voices) should be watching this and taking down notes. Mike and Kai split up, and decide to convene again after class – Kai laments the fact that they don’t have the time to eat their bento, now!

After-school session of Chiguma-watching. Kai says Mike just thought Chiguma was a normal game otaku, didn’t he? Eventually Chiguma shows up and Mike drags Kai behind some wall or something. Some classmate guy (the same guy from before?) invites Chiguma to go out and have some fun with them somewhere, but Chiguma refuses, saying that he’s still got club work to do, he’d promised Washiho-sensei so nah, he can’t skip out, sorry. Classmate guys talk about how they haven’t met the rest of the Archeology Club yet (?), is everyone just as focused about this as Chiguma is? Chiguma says, nah, it’s not that, not exactly…but they do the best they can with the time they have, which is saying something.

Apparently some girls from their class wanna join the Archeology Club too, what should they do? Chiguma doesn’t really suggest it, ‘cuz he wouldn’t have joined himself if Washiho-sensei hadn’t convinced him, it’s hard work! But he’ll help them if ever it comes to it. Classmate guy says Chiguma’s just really too nice on everyone for his own good, and goes off first.

Chiguma thinks aloud about how everyone would be pissed if he went to club late…and before he knows it he’s already bumped into this girl, all the boxes she was carrying down on the ground now. He helps her get to her feet and collect her things, she keeps apologizing all the while, Chiguma says she needn’t do so, actually it was his fault for not paying attention and bumping into her, she’s got no fault here at all! Actually it’s a bit dangerous for her to be carrying all these boxes alone, why doesn’t she split half with him, he’ll help her carry it!

Mike is surprised that he’s having another actual conversation with this girl, one that does not in any way end up with Chiguma running away in fear. Kai thinks it’s good that Chiguma gives off an air of being someone dependable. (The convo up top.) Mike says he understands things 100% more clearly– since they’ve properly observed Chiguma’s popularity now. He says they should go off to club now. Kai says something about Chiguma(‘s vocal cords??) in a teasing voice, and Mike tells him to please, shut up.

Chiguma arrives in the club room sometime later, and apologizes for being late. Mike’s just staring at him, though – what’s the matter, Chiguma asks, is there something on my face? Mike just keeps looking at him, and says he’s an amazing senpai. (Chiguma: “??????”) Eventually Chiguma gets to talking about this game he’s playing – actually, not just this game, there’s a special event that’s going up soon, with a rare drop monster!!! (?) Mike muses how this guy became the cool guy they saw earlier is a pretty rare, miraculous event in itself.

Somehow Chiguma goads Kai into helping him with the special event – because taking it on alone would be too hard! Kai agrees, and off to the side Mike says that things (regarding Chiguma) should just stay this way, for the sake of the world’s peace – he does not want to know what happens if the entire school figures out Chiguma’s otaku side, god, have mercy! Kai goes off to help Chiguma with the game, and the track ends.


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TRACK THREE: インタビューウィズ円城寺三毛 [Interview with MikeEnjouji]

(most straightforward title of the lot – “Interview with” is written in kana. THANK HEAVEN)

Call me biased or whatever, but this is basically my favorite track of the lot.

Chiguma:“Everyday…I keep saying you’d be a good bride, but…you give off a feel of being like Mike’s mom more, huh?”
Kai:“I’m not a bride, or a mom!”
Chiguma: “Then…a girlfriend…?”
Mike: “!!!! Are you stupid!?”

Track starts in the middle of soccer practice, Mike screaming out commands like he’s born to it. I think he probably is. He’s just listed as ‘member’ so I can’t be sure, but with how he’s the only one taking up the bulk of the spoken lines here (granted he’s the main character and all, but, still) I’d like to think he’s pretty high up as far as proficiency is concerned.

Up on the Archeology Club room, Kai and Chiguma are doing club work…or, well Kai is supposed to be doing club work, only he’s watching Mike do practice drills with his teammates outside, and cheers when they make a shot. Chiguma notes how Mike really loves soccer – he keeps going on these Sunday practices, without fail, doesn’t he? Kai talks about how Mike told him to quit basketball and join the Archeology Club instead…only, Mike didn’t even quit the soccer club himself, did he? He’s horrible!

(Personally I think this has to do with Kai assuming the Vice-Captain role in the Archeology Club – if Kai had to juggle both that level of responsibility and basketball club work, Mike probably thought he wouldn’t be able to take it? Or maybe he really was just being petty. Idk. Tsunderes are hard work.)

Chiguma asks if Kai is okay with this – if he thinks Mike’s being selfish, and since Mike keeps saying mean things to him all the time, doesn’t he feel a bit sad or wtv? Kai says nah…Mike doesn’t really say what he means, but he’s actually a really honest guy!

Eventually they talk about something about Mike’s 爽やかな猫被り – this phrase gave me a hard time, but basically: “sawayaka (na)” refers to one’s ‘refreshing’ aura (which Mike has in public-mode, as stated in his profile), and ‘nekokaburi’ refers to someone who’s pretending to be a kind of person they are not. So, plainly stated, Mike’s ‘refreshing facade’. (This is also a term Chiguma used to refer to Mike’s public-voice in ACTORS1, immediately after Mike goes all puppy-dog-eyed on Ryou, as follows: “There we go, Mike’s refreshing facade.” “Shut up.”)

Kai says that, facade or not, he always gets what Mike wants to get across! Chiguma comments that the refreshing act Mike puts up in everyday convos with everyone else is a great 180 from the real personality he shows them during club time.

While they’d been talking the soccer club practice had ended, and they wonder if he’ll stop by the Archeology Club later and see them. Somehow Chiguma notices that Mike’s looking their way, and Kai, the adorable dork, actually throws the window open and shouts, “You did a good job today, Mike-kun!!” Mike looks hella angry now. Kai says that’s just like him, thinking ‘maybe I should stop by that room now!!’ Chiguma notes how happy Kai is and wonders…is Kai actually enjoying this state of affairs!? (In the back of his mind: did being around S-type Mike-kun for so damned long make Kai into an M-type!?)

Kai says, of course! So…is Kai seriously, intentionally, making Mike angry at him all the time? Kai says he isn’t – it’s just that he gets all mad-like always, but he’s just never really, seriously mad at him, and even if Mike does get seriously mad Kai can always just give him delicious food to calm him down! Chiguma agrees and says that yeah, an eating Mike is a happy Mike…does that mean that all the bento Kai keeps making for Mike all the time are all peace offerings, then? Kai says nah, that’s different…it’s just become habit for him to make bento for Mike all the time. Chiguma says that whatever Kai cooks always ends up tasting delicious…he’s actually a bit jealous of Mike for getting to have this all the time. Kai promises to make bento for Chiguma the next time he clears his game level.

Mike barges into the room just then – hey, Kai, why the hell do you keep smiling at me from the window!? He’s seething but Kai just calmly congratulates him on today again. Mike goes off still – having a guy keep staring at him the entire time gives him the creeps, okay? Instead of focusing on this Kai focuses on how Mike didn’t at least take his shoes off before he entered the building – wouldn’t the floor get all dirty, why didn’t he at least change into slippers? Mike tells him to get off his case, isn’t he all right in this state anyway? He changes into the slippers anyway. Kai nags at him for not taking a shower, in which case Mike says he was too fixated on wanting to yell at Kai for staring at him to care.

While Kai gets Mike orange juice (they were all out of tea), Chiguma asks: since when did you two get along so well? Mike insists that they aren’t getting along well, actually, never had, are your eyes going bad, Chiguma? Kai says they’d always been together since kindergarten. Mike was really quiet back then (something Chiguma notes with great interest), and he and Kai shared a classroom for around five years (?) or more.

[Possible – like Rin and Nagisa in Free!, Mike and Kai were born in the same year, only Mike was born before the April 1 cut off (Feb.15) and Kai was born after the April 1 cutoff (Nov.18) so they could’ve been yearmates in a more relaxed setting and one year apart in a more formal one.]

I think Mike got shunted up a year sometime in middle school, cuz that’s the time when Kai mentions ‘being in different rooms’ or something. Anyway that’s when Mike first started taking up soccer, and when Kai started making bento for Mike…every day. Chiguma notes that while he doeskeep saying Kai would be a good bride…in this case he’s more like Mike’s mom, isn’t he? Like in the ACTORS 1 drama track, Kai relents – he’s not a bride, or a mom, either! (The convo up top.)

“Well, [so you’re Mike’s] girlfriend, then?” Chiguma teases. Mike chokes on his words and asks if Chiguma’s being stupid about this right now. Chiguma goes off to gush about how in his virtual dating sim, there was a girl who keeps making bento for the protagonist every day, and she’d be the best bride ever! (Apparently you ship your friends together, Chiguma. Never change.)  Mike says Chiguma better not mistake games for reality…Mike’s just being practical and just taking all the meals he could get, okay???

Anyway Kai continues his story and talks about how he joined the basketball club but Mike couldn’t ever shut up about how he has to quit the basketball club and join the archeology club instead. He then goes on to say that Mike didn’t even quit the soccer club himself, he’s really horrible!!! Chiguma comments that Mike’s soccer-love is hella real, and that his own reason for being in the Archeology Club pales in comparison – he’d only joined since Washiho-sensei asked him too.

Mike says that since the Archeology Club’s ranking is already so high, it’s not as if he really has anything to do anyway, so just his normal casual club times are participation enough.

Ah, right, right! There was something that Chiguma wanted to ask Mike for a while now…why does he keep putting up his ‘refreshing-guy’ act in casual convos, when he drops it every time he goes to club (read: spends time with Kai and Chiguma) anyway? Mike says it’s just something that happens without him noticing…and don’t call it a ‘facade’, geez. Kai says something about Mike actually being popular within the soccer club – actually, the soccer club’s female manager seems to have eyes for him! Mike seethes at him, again, in response, and then –

Mike, stop, STOP!! You’re not allowed to use violence here!!!” (Chiguma, how do you deal with this all, this is probably what drives you into game addiction in the first place, isn’t it.) Kai says yeah, he should stop – what if someone sees Mike throttling (?) Kai from the doorframe? Who the hell would be looking in here anyway, huffs Mike.

Chiguma asks Mike when he started doing this act of his, and Mike says: nope, he doesn’t know where that came from, he doesn’t remember either. Kai says he does, though! It’s from when they were in third year middle school (Chiguma: ”It’s been that long!?”) and Mike didn’t return this manga he borrowed from Kai’s room, it was entitled – That’s enough, shut that mouth of yours up before I close it for you!! – ahaha, anyway, that’s where it came from, it was amazing to see!

Chiguma laughs and says, Mike sure is interesting, isn’t he? Mike says he isn’t, and stands up to leave, only Kai hands him a box of snacks he’d been meaning to give him earlier.

It’s Mendako’s March (a clear Koala’s March knockoff – ‘mendako’ presumably refers to an animal but I can’t look up what animal that is rn??), and Mike sounds so damned happy as he tears into it! Kai says he bought it for the extra gift item – isn’t it the same charm he saw on Mike’s bag earlier, the character mascot that looked like an octopus? Mike corrects him – it’s not just any character mascot, it’s Mon-tan. Kai doesn’t get why he’s so attached to that mascot – isn’t Mike weak against any kind of sea creature? Nah, Mike says, Mon-tan’s a different matter entirely. Kai’s eyes must be weak to not get this, seriously.

Kai hands Mike the extra gift item off the box he ate earlier – it’s a special version of Mon-tan, the face is completely different!! (Mike sounds so damned cute and happy during this part! This kills a man, seriously.) Kai explains to Chiguma that despite his cool/angry impression Mike is actually a big fan of cute things – actually he’s got a ton of stuffed toys in his closet, too, lol. Mike tells him to shut up, it’s just that he couldn’t find anywhere else to put all that stuff so he stuck it there for now, would you please stop talking about this already?? Kai says he’ll buy another box of that when he goes shopping next – there anything Mike wants him to watch out for? Actually Mike says he just has to get a Mon-tan with a different face, that’s all, thanks.

Chiguma says that they really do make a great pair, he understands everything better now. Mike says they’re not a ‘pair’, dammit, it’s just that Kai’s this annoying pet that keeps hanging around anyway, that’s all. The track ends with the two childhood friends going home together, and Chiguma winding off with a game before he gets back home.


Translator’s note: Original post dated 03/31/15!

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