ACTORS Drama Edition East

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01. Tenshou Academy’s School Trip – To The East – (A Part – Everyone – )

Track starts off w/ Mitsuki talking about the trip and how it works. His voice is echoing, so I’m guessing he’s addressing a crowd with a microphone or something.

…I didn’t really pay much attention to what he said, though (sorry, Mitsuki!!!) because right after him goes…Kai and Mike. We all know where my bias lies.

Mike’s wondering where their other companions are. Kai asks him, didn’t he know? Washiho-sensei’s on the trip going to the Western prefectures. Would Mike have liked it if he was going West with Washiho-sensei instead? Mike goes ugh, no, he might get dragged into fieldwork, so, nope.

The third member of their club – Chiguma – is also going West! Apparently, Mike says, he’d wanted to go to Okinawa, so, yeah. He’ll be all right anyway, ‘cuz no matter where he goes, he’ll only play games, lol.

Mike asks Kai, though – what’s he gonna do? Apparently he’s skipping out on something – probably his regular class assignment? Maybe he’s not really supposed to be on this specific part of the East trip, or in the East trip in general?

Kai: “Yeah, that’s right…but Mike-kun’s going to Hokkaido, so!”

Mike: “Don’t just think of my sake, you shitty dog,”

So Kai says he’s wanted to go to Hokkaido too anyway, ‘cuz he’s never been there. Mike goes, “Well, if it’s ‘cuz of that, you should’ve said so in the first place!” (Am I the only one who thinks that the first reason was really Kai’s primary reason for going and the second one was just his secondary one? Anyone? Anyway.)

Mike says Kai should just be quiet and go along and not cause him any trouble, if that’s the case.

Itto and Hozumi go up to them and exchange greetings with Kai and Mike, respectively. They’re going to Hokkaido too, same as Kai and Mike – apparently they’re going ‘cuz they wanna swim in Hokkaido! In Hokkaido’s sea, to be exact!

Itto: “The sea! Swimming!”

Mike sounds…a bit apprehensive (remember this point), but says, yeah, if that’s what they’re planning, it sounds good.

Kai says, if they ever end up meeting on the trip, the four of them, they should totally have meals together and stuff! Itto’s super excited (when isn’t he super excited tho), and asks Kai if he made curry for today. Kai says nah, he didn’t, not this time, but he’ll be looking for ingredients and also he’ll have a curry party upon their return so Itto’s looking forward to that!

Next up is Kouya and Seijun. One very important thing (to me, at least), though:

「おう、円城寺くん、みーけ!」- This is what Kouya says, when he comes up to the group next. It’s painstakingly rendered in the original Japanese because if my ears serve me right, I think my dearest darling Broadcasting Club cinnamon roll just made a friggin’ pun. A pun. I listened to this five times already just to make sure, and, yup, it’s みーけ, not みーて, which is by far the most contextually sound way to end that sentence (somewhere along the lines of “Oh, Enjouji-kun, I found/saw you!”)

Why is this important to me? Because Kouya, in making that pun, effectively tried to stealthily address Mike by his hated given name, even drawing out the syllables. It’s kind of what he does with Seijun, when he’s actually talking to him – it’s never せいじゅん good and proper, it’s almost always せーじゅん, with the first syllable’s i sound missing). It’s either so good that Mike doesn’t even notice it, or so bad that Mike decides to choose his battles and let that one slide. Either way, it’s my second singularly adored moment in this entire disc. Moving on.

Kouya says that he’s glad he’s on the same trip with Seijun! Seijun thinks Kouya would think his part of the trip boring, though. Kouya thinks it’ll be fine, cuz he’d be with Seijun anyway – Seijun did not expect this kind of sentiment from him, apparently. He thinks that, once Kouya would notice how normal his itinerary is, he’d get really bored and leave (Kouya: “You’re horrible! Why do you always talk about me like I’m so selfish!?”)

Kai asks Seijun – where are you guys gonna go? To Tohoku, apparently. Kai notes that, and says cheerfully that they’re going to Hokkaido! Kouya asks what they’re gonna do there, and Kai says that Mike-ku…mm, Enjouji-kun, (please note the emphasis because it is also adorable) he wanted to eat tons of yummy food, so they’re just gonna go and eat a lot!

Mike doesn’t like the way he phrased this, though, so he goes S-mode on Kai again and reaches forward (to do that squeezing thing he was doing in their drama part in ACTORS3?); Kai says he gets it, he gets it, so can Mike just stop it already?

…he does. So Mike turns back to their companions, pleasant public voice in place, and says well, it’s like that, yeah, kind of. They’re going to Hokkaido, and it’s such a shame if they let such good food go untasted, right? (Basically he’s going for more of a gourmet’s angle than a glutton’s, here, which is hilarious in its own way.) Kouya gobbles this all up, of course, and suggests to Seijun they should go and eat stuff from obscure places too – no, Seijun says, that’s not in his plan, he is notgonna let Kouya hijack it into his own little gourmet corner.

Kaoru and Minori approach the group then (Kaoru: “Oh, Seijun, you’re going to visit castles?”), and Kai greets Minori by first name – they’re close, they’re classmates, after all. They’re going to Miyagi and Fukushima (Miyagi – same as Kouya and Seijun?), and they’re gonna go on a sweets trip!

Seijun: “The two of you never change.”

Kouya suggests everyone get each other souvenirs from the places they’ll be going to, which Mike approves of, immediately (and why wouldn’t he, more people, more chances of good food)

Mitsuki goes up to them next, Ryou in tow, and this is where I realize – it’s Mitsuki’s voice that Mike might be (subconsciously) projecting when he’s in 爽やかな猫かぶり mode. It’s all the more obvious when they speak right after one another.

Anyway, Ryou says something along the lines of it being so troublesome, why the hell does he have to get paired off with Mitsuki, of all people? Mitsuki’s voice goes all cool and slow (hey hey hey is THIS his version of Mike’s S-mode??? amazing) as he says that he is completely fine with being paired off with Ryou, it’d make him really happy if Ryou felt the same, you know? Ryou says, okay, he gets it, okay, now could Mitsuki please please please stop smiling like that, ‘cuz it’s like the smile of an oni and also scaring the crap out of him. (Mitsuki: “Mm! If you get it, I’m glad!”)

Kouya: “Seijun, as I thought, Mitsuki-senpai really is scary, huh?”

Seijun: “Don’t tell me that.”

Mitsuki hears their little side convo and asks Kouya what’s the matter – Kouya might probably be startled out of his skin at this point. He’s having war flashbacks to when Mitsuki dragged them away for peeping on the Archeology Club’s room in ACTORS3, most probably.

The pair-ups, once more, with feeling – Mike and Kai, Hozumi and Itto, Kouya and Seijun, Kaoru and Minori, Mitsuki and Ryou. Mitsuki gives them instructions and asks Kouya they’re going. (Nagoya and Osaka, apparently) Mitsuki and Ryou are going to Kanazawa and Aomori. He also tells them to stick with each other’s partners so they won’t get lost. Hozumi reminds Itto to make sure to stay close to him, they wouldn’t want Itto to get left behind, right? (Itto: “’Kay!”)

“Enjouji-kun, it’s a good thing we’re with each other, ne?” (Kai calling Mike by his last name is still something I have yet to get used to, oh my god.) Mike agrees – ‘cuz yeah, someone’s gotta look after Kai, make sure he doesn’t go disappearing on them all of a sudden, y’know. It’s a pain, but what can he do. Itto notices this – “Kai, you’re gonna be a lost person??” – and Kai protests, no, no, it’s not that at all, don’t say such horrible stuff! Mitsuki chuckles at this exchange.

Mitsuki reminds the second- and third-years that they have to write up a report of their trip. A hundred-page one. Yup. Ryou has no clue that this was a thing that will be happening, though, and asks Mitsuki if they can…y’know, not do that, the two of them? Mitsuki says, no, we can’t…in that same scary-cool voice he used earlier.

Ryou: “Please, have mercy on me…!!”

Mitsuki asks them to check if they’ve forgotten anything, and with that, bids their little meeting dismissed, ending the track.


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02. Swim! East Japan’s Sea, Domination and Journey (B Part – Hozumi & Itto – )

Remember track 1, where Mike (of all people, Mike) was sounding all apprehensive about Hozumi and Itto’s plan of swimming in Hokkaido? Well, in this track, we’ll see why.

Track opens with Hozumi and Itto at the beach, both of them in awe of the wide, large sea in front of them, the sandy beach at their feet…it’s all so amazing, and they’re all pumped up to go and swim now!! But wait a sec…just like when they’re swimming in the pool, Hozumi reminds Itto, they’ve gotta warm up first. So they do warm up exercises, where Itto notices something –

Itto: “Why is nobody else swimming?”

Hozumi: “Maybe they think the sea’s too cold to swim in right now?”

Oh, dear, sweet, precious Hozumi. You have no idea just how right you are. But that’s me getting ahead of myself. Anyway. Hozumi has no clue if the sea is cold enough to not swim in, though, so Itto suggests they just swim in it already so they can check. They end up running through the water and diving with loud whoops –

Hozumi: “It’s cold!”

Itto: “It’s super cold, huh??”

Hozumi decrees, in all his swimming-honed wisdom, that it’ll get warmer if they move around their bodies, by, well, swimming – so he and Itto do just that, laughing all the while.

Eventually Hozumi’s so cold his teeth are chattering and he says, yup, Itto, he totally understands now – he’s at his limit. It’s just too damned cold to swim in. Itto’s still laughing (from excitement? adrenaline? borderline hysteria? we really don’t know), and proclaims, “Haha, Hozumi, you’re turning blue!”

…they didn’t probably mean it this way, but I think this is the single most beautiful way a song title got its way into the drama, just btw – because Hozumi sung a song named “Ao” (Blue).

Hozumi gets out of the water first, and instructs Itto to do the same – but Itto doesn’t wanna! He’s having fun – or so he says – but his teeth are also chattering, and he’s obviously having as much fun staying there as Ryuunosuke does (so, 0%), which was apparently possible. Hozumi offers Itto his hoodie and some hot tea, to which Itto immediately says his thanks.

“Tomorrow, maybe the sea will be warmer by then, so we can try swimming again!” Hozumi says, in a successful attempt to lift Itto’s spirits. They’ve still got a lot of time left, though – so what do they do?

They end up going to an aquarium/water park kind of place, where Hozumi tells Itto the names as they peruse fishes and fanboy over their swimming/potential edibility (Itto, probably not the best thing to talk about right in front of the poor fishes…) Itto says he thinks he saw Hozumi over there – which – he doesn’t get it, what does he mean, he’s here, how can he be there???

Itto eventually brings Hozumi to look at some adorable little seals. Hozumi finds it interesting that Itto knows what seals are, but doesn’t know what salmon fish are called –

Hozumi: “…then again, you’re a genius, so maybe that’s just how your brain works.”

Itto: “I’m a genius! He he.”

Hozumi asks Itto what he’d meant about Itto seeing him there, and apparently – he was talking about the dolphins. “This is Hozumi! It’s Hozumi, isn’t it?” Apparently – am I hearing this right? – (one of) the characters of Hozumi’s name spell out ‘dolphin’. Just like how the second character of Itto’s name spells out ‘rabbit’. Which is why Hozumi doesn’t get how this ‘rabbit’ could swim, “it’s weird!”

Itto: “A rabbit is more skilled than a dolphin!”

Hozumi: “Nah, you’re wrong, a dolphin is the skilled one.”

As proof of this, Hozumi suggests they just go and watch the dolphin in action. The dolphins make amazing jumps and Itto says, “They’re amazing! Just like Hozumi!” Hozumi is clearly pleased at hearing this, at hearing Itto say he’s awesome (Itto: “But I’m the next-most-awesome, though!”), and laughs – too bad their convo is cut off by the dolphin splashing water all over Hozumi.

(The amazing thing about this, though, is that even though he’s the one dripping wet and uncomfortable, Hozumi still first asks Itto if he’s all right.)

– the dolphin goes forth, again, doing another amazing jump…and splashes water, once more, all over poor Hozumi Uozu.


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03. The Gourmet Road of Delights is in Hokkaido! (C Part – Kai & Mike – )

This was the track I was waiting all these months for, but then again, we all already know that.

Kai and Mike are talking about the places they’ve gone on their trip so far – which have apparently all worn Mike out incessantly, he’s hella tired by now. Kai notes that it’s been less than an hour since they last had a break! But what the hell, you damned dog, it is way too damned hot out there.

…but the more pressing worry on Mike Enjouji’s mind isn’t that, it’s of all the good food to have in Hokkaido, which one should we eat next? Of course we all know Mike obviously has his priorities in check…

Curry! Crab! Ramen! (Miso base for Mike, salt base for Kai) Salmon dishes, too! Nabe! The priorities are endless…Mike reminds Kai of the ‘soup curry’ he’d wanted to taste, apparently Kai doesn’t wanna leave without at least having tried it! But they still have to buy souvenirs, though…Mike says it’ll be fine putting that off for a bit, though, they’ve still got more than enough time!

Kai searches for good food to eat on his smartphone and ends up with a really good result. Mike’s way too happy about this development, cheerfully, earnestly saying:

Mike: “That’s good, Kai! Right now you’re a wise dog! That’s nice!!

Kai: “Hahaha, what the hell?”

(That is high praise in Mike-speak, just btw. I love this dork so much it’s unhealthy, but we all already know that, so moving on.)

After the meal, both of them are full as they could possibly be, completely sated by the food they’d just had – especially Mike, who had apparently eaten so quickly that it surprised the hell outta Kai

Mike: “Of course I’d eat like that, I’m hungry!”

Kai suddenly runs off to somewhere, asking Mike to wait for him a bit.

Mike: “Kai, where are you going?”

Kai: “Just wait for me right there!”

Mike mumbles to himself that this reminds him very much of the time when Kai ran after the lost kitten that the Archeology Club and Singing Club’s lives all revolve around (in ACTORS1) – oh, right, why does that cat keep popping up in their lives anyway, was it looking for anything valuable to it, or something? Oh, what the hell, him thinking about this was pointless and troublesome anyway, never mind.

There he goes again, Kai, running back to where he left Mike. Mike gives him a talking-to – didn’t they just agree they weren’t gonna go separate ways? Why the hell did he run off just now? Apparently Kai got him soft-serve ice cream, ‘cuz it’s a Hokkaido specialty and it’s also really nice to have dessert after a meal, of course! Mike thinks it unexpectedly weird that Kai’s coming up with good ideas today.

Kai: “That’s horrible! You’re always speaking as if I’m useless!”

Mike: “You’re just not aware of it [your uselessness], ‘cuz you’re a shitty dog.”

Kai: “—ah, look, Mike-kun, the ice cream’s melting!”

Mike manages to lick off the bottom of the dripping ice cream before it reaches his hand.

(Why did I pay attention to that. Why. Please throw me in the non-recyclable trash bin.)

They’re going shopping next…for food. We’ve just eaten, Kai says, and we’re gonna shop for stuff that can be eaten, again?? Of course! Mike will get hungry again soon enough, anyway. Kai says he wants to be the one to choose where they get to go next, and Mike tells him – the next place we’re going to is the one that sells soup curry, he likes curry anyway, right?

Kai: “It’s okay to eat at the soup curry place??”

Mike: “You were the one who said you won’t go home without having at least tasted it, right?”

Before that, though, they’re gonna go shopping for souvenirs. Mike says it’s just as well they do it now, since they’ve spent the past few (days?) shopping for Kai’s curry ingredients, and Kai should be grateful to Mike for accompanying him…which he is, of course. They talk about having more good food in the next place they go to, and the atmosphere around them is decidedly calm…that is, though, until…Mike…sees something.

Mike: “UOOOOOOHHHH!!! Kai, let’s go see the souvenir over there!”

Kai: “Ah, Mike-kun, what’s the matter? Wait a sec…!”

Mike: “UOHHH!!! There, there! It’s this, it really is!”

Kai: “What? What are you gonna buy here?”

Mike: “I’ve been looking for this for so long! Mentako’s March, Hokkaido-limited version!”

In true Yuuki Ono-character form, Mike Enjouji is a passionate tsundere with his One True Weakness. For Taiga Kagami, it is basketball. For Masayuki Hori, it is, arguably, Yuu Kashima. For Mike Enjouji, it was, and always will be…Mentako’s March biscuits; specifically, the freebies that come with them.

Apparently all the ‘rare’ and ‘secret’ versions are nothing compared to the limited (region-locked??) versions, and this series’ Yuki-Men-tan and Yuki-Mon-tan are the ones to find. There are thirty different faces all in all – “Wait, Mike-kun, are you really getting all of those???” Well, yeah, of course, he’s got enough cash to cover for it anyway. And if worse comes to worst, he could always say any of the remaining biscuits were the souvenirs he got for the others…maybe.

Kai: “So we’re getting them Mendako’s March as souvenirs?”

Mike: “Indeed, that would be awful…but it can’t be helped. Well, I guess I can pick out some of the keychains’ faces to give Hinata…”

Kai: “You’re giving some to Hinata-senpai, huh?”

Mike: “That guy’s my soulmate – mgh, I mean, we’re connected by Mendako’s March.”

Kai: “Right now, you just referred to him as your soulmate, didn’t you.”

Mike: “You’re noisy. Shut up.”

Kai: “Hahaha!”

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER GO AHEAD TRY AND TELL ME IT ISN’T, I WON’T EVEN LISTEN TO YOU. This is obvious, of course, since, like I said, I have my biases and know how to focus on them.

The implications of Mike’s lines here is doubly special to me because, aside from me already shipping them as a BROTP since I heard of how fondly Mike refers to Hinata as his ‘Mentako’s March buddy’, both Mike’s seiyuu (Yuuki Ono) and Hinata’s seiyuu (Souichirou Hoshi) voice characters from my ever-beloved “spiky-haired super stressed senpai club”. (GSNK’s Masayuki Hori and KuroBasu’s Yukio Kasamatsu, respectively)

So, yay for my BROTP being canon. I know I listened to this exact part of the audio for way too much time now. I am only human.

(The next thing up on your agenda, ACTORS franchise, is to actually give us a drama scene where Mike and Hinata actually talk to each other, tyvm.)

Anyway, that out of the way, Mike and Kai are going off to have that soup curry now! Or, well…they’re going to pick out food souvenirs for the others! (I’d thought Mike was seriously thinking of passing off all those Mentako’s March boxes as the souvenirs. I underestimated him – he clearly could finish all of those on his own, ngl.) Kai sees something called a “butter sandwich” (apparently some kind of Japanese delicacy/snack thing?), and…Yubari melons? But hey, wait, Kai, damnit, that’s expensive–!!


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04. Two Men’s Exciting, Sparkling Zoo Trip (D Part – Mitsuki & Ryou – )

…I still think there is something completely off about the way this title translates, just btw. But oh well.

What the hell am I doing here in Hokkaido with Mitsuki? This is the thought with which Ryou kicks off the entire track, and Mitsuki thinks Ryou should probably stop complaining and just enjoy the trip, lol. Ryou asks him, though – wouldn’t Mitsuki prefer to spend time with his friend (Rei) Ichijoudani, instead of, well, Ryou himself? Mitsuki agrees that yeah, being with Rei would have been fun…but then, where would Ryou find himself? ‘Sides, spending time like this is fun too, anyway.

Mitsuki asks Ryou if there’s anything he wants to see in the zoo they’ve found themselves in. Ryou says he’d wanna see lots of animals, especially a bear! Mitsuki points him to the right direction and Ryou completely loses his cool because OMG A WHITE BEAR SO LARGE IT’S SO COOL MITSUKI MITSUKI ARE YOU SEEING THIS???? Ryou’s a animal fanboy, which is kinda adorable, especially since his character design gives off a whole ‘delinquent’ vibe to him.

Eventually they get to talking about their families – I kind of lost track of stuff halfway through (the words they use aren’t in my vocab, yet. damn), but so far all I’ve got is that Ryou has a big brother who Papa Saotome wants him to follow in his college course, and Ryou wants his own way, and Mitsuki’s offering to help Ryou if he ever needs help picking out colleges and courses. (They’re both third-years, guys…I know a light-hearted series like this would probably not touch on it, but. Third years.)

They see another place where a lot of people seem to have congregated – Mitsuki picks up a flyer and sees that there’s gonna be a penguin show going on in a few moments. They decide to stop by to watch it a bit, and as soon as Ryou’s eyes lock on the cute animals, he squeals happily.

Mitsuki: Ryou, you…really like animals, don’t you?

Ryou: Kind of. Yaaa~ it’s great that I’ve seen this! Penguins are nice…Ou! Penguin-chan! O-oh! He’s looking over here! Oh…it’s cute, oi…

Mitsuki: [chuckles] You’re enjoying yourself, huh?

Ryou happily suggests to Mitsuki that their Singing Club should really take a pet – Mitsuki has to shoot him down, though, ‘cuz they can’t keep an animal in school. But if Ryou wants to take care of an animal…he could take care of the little kitten (all the way from the first ACTORS album) instead? That stray kitten apparently lost her owner for real, so now Hinata’s keeping her for them in his house.

(This might have something to do with the fact that, on the Dengeki Girls’ ACTORS relationship chart, the arrow between the cat and Hinata seems to be referring to the almost motherly care that Hinata extends…)

Ryou: Well, if that’s the case, it can’t be helped, I’ll go to Hinata’s house and play [with the kitten]! You just leave that duty to me!

He says he’s most definitely gonna tell Hinata about his plan of helping him kittensit as soon as they get home, which amuses Mitsuki. They then end up talking about the penguin – it’s a King Penguin, apparently (fitting, ‘cuz Japanese fandom usually portrays Mitsuki as some kind of king) – and Mitsuki asks Ryou if he wants to go to some other animals next. Ryou sounds sad to go, but yeah, he wants to see more animals! Especially since with this penguin show…everyone else seems to be half of a couple, and since he and Mitsuki are just bros it just seems…really awkward for them to be here, lol.

They talk about their plans for tomorrow – Mitsuki’s got somewhere he likes to go to, but Ryou doesn’t have to go if he doesn’t wanna? Well, Ryou doesn’t really hate going places with Mitsuki, so yeah, he’s going! They end up talking about their plans more as the track fades away to its end.


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05. Tohoku Proceedings. Also, Wishing Upon A Star (E Part – Kouya & Seijun & Kaoru & Minori – )

Seijun keeps taking pics of castles. He sounds very much like Free’s Rei Ryugazaki here – murmuring “beautiful…” under his breath, absolutely fanboying over the beautiful castles he can’t help but take pictures of. He sounds so passionate about his scenery fixation and it’s really cute.

On the other hand, Kaoru and Kouya add to the conversation by talking about how much more beautiful it looks with the cherry blossoms blooming in spring. Kaoru seems to be from the area, since he knows how it looks in spring and loves that specific season, apparently.

Especially since cherry blossom-viewing means sweets-eating, and he really wishes it was cherry blossom season right now so he can have more sweets, lol. Seijun comments that Kaoru’s alwaysbeen like this – eating and eating (and never ever seeming to get full, lol). Kaoru insists that of course he has to eat, it’s so he can move his body properly! Apparently kyudo isn’t enough for him to maintain a healthy physique – he runs in the evenings, too.

Kouya’s murmuring something about him not being able to exert proper effort, atlethics-wise. Kaoru says he’s just like Minori, in that regard; Kouya says, hmm, okay, but I don’t think my heart is that weak? (Minori: “You’re horrible!” Why do these boys all love teasing each other lol)

Eventually Minori insists that hell no, he’s just a normal guy, Kaoru’s just being too nice (on Kouya, maybe?) but Kaoru speaks back and tells Minori that actually, Kagetora-sensei thinks Minori should go on a diet/exercise routine, tbh. They’re the only ones who think this – Minori thinks his health is good enough, tyvm!

Otoh, Kouya and Seijun really do have bad memories for Chouno’s Phys Ed classes. Actually, some people call his Phys Ed sessions, quite simple, ‘hell’. Kaoru is seriously surprised that they think he’s that bad. Kouya says Kaoru just doesn’t get it, cuz he’s hella athletic. (Also Kouya calls Kaoru just ‘Kaoru-kun’ now and THAT IS ADORABLE OK)

Seijun remembers a time where he couldn’t get back inside (to eat, maybe? snack/lunch break?) until he finished his laps. Minori says – yup, that’s scary, he was really right with wanting to run from Chouno-sensei. They all have a kind of depressed/defeated aura to them that it makes Kaoru huff and hand out apples he bought for them to snack on,

Kaoru: Eat these, and become lively again!

Much to everyone’s approval, of course, since, as Kouya is only too quick to say, these apples are sweet and taste really good! Kaoru instructs Minori to eat these, cuz they have minimal calories and would work well with a diet he might choose to have.

Seijun: Kaoru…you’re kind of – like a girl.

Kaoru: Really?

Kouya: Because you like sweets, huh?

If you ask Kaoru, though, Minori’s considerably more like a girl than he is! Minori takes offense to this – he’s just not really used to communicating with girls, but that doesn’t mean he is one…not when, well, he just really really likes oppai a lot!! Eventually Kaoru turns to Seijun and asks him to choose from him and Minori, who’s right, who’s…more like a girl? Or who’s more popular with girls? Am not sure about this one.

Seijun: Don’t ask me to judge you two, you weirdos!

Minori giggles and is inordinately happy to have been called a ‘weirdo’ (Seijun’s specific word was hentai), but Kaoru, not so much.

Kaoru: I’m not a weirdo (hentai)! I’m just a brooding lecher (muttsuri sukebe…?)

Seijun: …don’t just call yourself a ‘brooding lecher’…!

I have the feeling that Seijun’s gonna need a lot of paracetamol some time soon, lol. So it’s just as well that Kouya breaks up the awkward convo by pointing out something – it’s the shooting star, most probably, and the juxtaposition of that and the beautiful castle makes Seijun’s voice go all soft and adoring again. So he decides to take a video.

Kouya keeps making peace signs at the camera, Minori introduces himself just as cheerily, and Kaoru coolly makes his entrance. Kaoru doesn’t think it’s interesting enough, though, and eventually makes a little speech, his voice almost rising dramatically, before he realizes himself and goes back to default cool mode.

Kouya thinks they should just ditch the srs documentation and have fun as usual, though – to which Seijun protests cuz what the hell, this is for his castle visit logs, this is serious business, okay??? The three of them convince him otherwise, though – Kouya especially, by his tried and tested method of nagging Seijun until he finally lets Kouya win.

Seijun: Hahhh…I get it, so let’s just pass by the rest. (?)

Kouya: Yay! Seijun, you’re so nice!

Seijun: [embarrassed] Look here, you guys just write down your wishes here, so we can go home now!

It’s Tanabata-style wish-writing, where you write your wishes down on paper tags and hang them up. It’s way too early to be celebrating Tanabata, but there’s some kind of event where they are, so here we go.

Kouya goes first – “I wanna be a TV reporter!” Minori thinks this is cool – people he knows from other clubs aren’t this passionate with their club activities, not enough to wanna have a job in that field someday! But, well, Kouya likes speaking a lot, so yeah, that’s what he wants to be!

Kaoru’s wish: “I want to write a book about sweets!” Minori thinks this would be hard for him, though – he eats sweets every day, won’t writing them, all be hard for him? Kaoru figures if he wants it to be done, it will be done, so NBD. He also wants to print “Sweets Are Not A Crime”, his signature catchphrase, on the wraparound of the hypothetical book, lol.

“Hm hm…I wanna make an oppai harem!” OH MY GOD MINORI. WHAT THE HELL. This is probably word-for-word exactly what our precious pure little cinnamon roll Kouya is thinking about now, because he immediately retorts, “wouldn’t that be horrible????”

Kaoru: That is how Minori Shido usually is. Please don’t mind him.

Minori passionately says that Kouya shouldn’t hate on his dream, because wth, that is his dream! Because he’d be positively surrounded by oppai! He then goes on to say that it’s only natural and expected for young men to like oppai (while Kouya hems and haws awkwardly because like I said HE IS AN INNOCENT CINNAMON ROLL, TOO PURE)

Minori: Oppai are nurturing! Oppai are love! Oppai are…the catalysts of the entire world!! (?)

Kouya: [awkwardly] Ahaha…mou, I got it, okay…

Minori: Please never forget it! Even if I have to do it alone…I will fight [for oppai]! I…REALLY LIKE OPPAI!!!!!

That aside (finally) we’ve got Seijun going up last. “I want to be a club DJ, and perform on the world stage!” A really cool electro-pop synth crops up in the background as Seijun says this. Kouya’s surprised ‘cuz whoa, that sure is a big dream…Seijun wants to be on the world stage, ‘cuz international DJs are, like, top-class artists in the field. Kaoru thinks it amusing that meek, unassuming Seijun would have the most ambitious dream of them all.

Seijun: Don’t phrase it that way. It’s my dream, so I can do it.

Minori asks what a club DJ does – and, well, since he works in a club, he’d be able to meet loads of girls, right???? Seijun says that a club DJ never stops working when the music doesn’t stop, and says a whole lot of other music-related things that…well, conveniently don’t reply the second part of Minori’s question.

Kouya finds Seijun’s reply surprising – he’d though that a DJ’s work just started and ended with putting on the music? Seijun says that being a Broadcasting Club DJ and a world-class DJ aren’t the same at all – at a world stage, a DJ can make his own mixes. The field is not really well-known in Japan, though, so overseas is the way to go for him.

Everyone seems to be excited at the prospect of Seijun becoming popular if his dream ever comes true, except…well, Seijun himself. They decide to go home, like they’d convinced Seijun to let ‘em do, as the track ends.


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06. Tenshou Academy School Trip, Let’s Enjoy Going Back Home!! (F Part – Everyone – )

Everyone’s met up again! Mitsuki asks them if they’ve enjoyed their respective trips.

Kai: It was the best! Right, Enjouji-kun~?

Mike: [pleasant public voice] You’re right, it wasn’t that bad. [deeper register] Gehh, I’m tired.

Hozumi: Anyway, me and Itto, we swam!

Itto: We swum a lot!

Mike backtracks at that – wth, you really swam? Wasn’t the sea too cold? Hozumi says that the sea was a fickle one, but they got to swim eventually, and hot damn it was fun. Itto’s already looking forward to the next time they swim there.

Kai says that Itto sure does look like he had fun, swimming a lot. Itto asks him what he did, in turn – Kai says they ate a lot, and also collected a lot of ingredients for making curry! Mike side-comments that it took a while for them to get back cuz Kai was taking so damned long, though. (Kai: Hahaha, sorry~) Itto’s totally excited about the prospect of Kai’s special Hokkaido curry, and keeps squealing happily about wanting to eat it soon!

Kouya goes and says, yup, the Ashihara-and-Yuyama castle excursion went well! Mitsuki comments that Kouya has a nice hobby. Kouya denies it, though – this whole thing with the castles is 100% Seijun’s hobby, not his. Seijun doesn’t even deny it.

Seijun: [happy] I’m satisfied…it was the best.

On the other hand, of course, Kaoru did go on the sweets excursion he said he was gonna go on in the first place. Minori enjoyed the hell out of it, too, but…he just can’t keep up with Kaoru, lol. Kaoru thinks Minori still has a lot to learn in that aspect. (Is he making Minori into some kind of sweets apostle???)

Mitsuki and Ryou had fun where they went too…which brings Mitsuki to his first meeting topic: what can everyone say about the places they’ve been to? Mike and Kai go first.

Mike starts off by enumerating their itinerary – starting in Sapporo, Ishikari, Tokachi, Raosu (????? I doubt I got these place names right, please feel free to correct any of them!) Kai says that Hokkaido is really a big place, isn’t it. Mike says they ate a lot of good stuff in Sapporo, then they went to search for Kai’s curry ingredients in Tokachi; potatoes and cheese. In Raosu they got konbu, and also saw the sea. Kai says he’ll make curry come their day-off! Mitsuki thinks this is all very interesting. Kai’s gonna hold a curry party, so everyone else better enjoy it with him, haha. Kouya asks if they could come along too, and is super-pleased when Kai gives his okay.

Next up is Kouya and Seijun – they went to Hirosaki, Sendai, Aizuwakamatsu (?), and Hakodate. Their plan of action was basically Seijun staring at castles very intently for a long period of time, lol. Or so Kouya says. This is most probably true, though, because, again, Seijun doesn’t even deny it, only gushing about how beautiful and calm the castles were and how they were just all so lovely. Kouya agrees and says he found the whole thing fun, too.

Kaoru mentions that their club president (Ushio) would’ve loved to see the castles Seijun went to, as well! Seijun says he took a lot of pictures, so he’ll show Ushio those when they get back.

Coming from Otaru, Sugaru, Akita, and Kujino are Hozumi and Itto! They swum a lot – of coursethey’d swim, wherever place they end up in! On their spare time, they went to the aquarium and met a lot of fish – and ate a lot of fish, too!

Kaoru and Minori went to Hirosaki and Sendai, Hanamaki and Niigata. For the first half of their trip, they were with Kouya and Seijun, and it was lively amongst the four of them. For the second half the two of them went on their sweets excursion. Kaoru was apparently so very satisfied! They had Japanese-style sweets, for the most part. In Hanamaki, they went to an onsen. There’s something about this that makes Minori a bit disappointed, though. (Maybe there weren’t enough girls? Haha.)

Last up are Mitsuki and Ryou, and their zoo trip. Ryou happily talks about the animals they saw there (Itto: BEAR!!!) and Mitsuki adds to their itinerary: theirs was Kusharako, Nihorotoge, Shirakamisanji, Iwate. Seijun asks if they went in this specific place in Shirakamisanji (‘sekai sands’ or something?) and yeah, they did. They also went inside the caves in Iwate. Ryou thinks it was amazing to go inside those caves, and Mitsuki expresses a desire to go there again.

Kouya: As expected, Mitsuki-senpai’s such an adult! Seijun went past the adult stage and is now old-man-like, though~

Seijun: Shut up, Kouya. You don’t understand the beauty of castles…you really haven’t changed at all.

Kouya: That’s not it! I really enjoyed it, y’know?

Okay, so with that aside, everyone’s said their piece, it’s time for souvenir-sharing now – oh wait, it isn’t?? Um. Crap. Right. Mitsuki did say the sophomores and seniors had to pass a hundred-page report…

Mike: That’s really a pain [to write]…four days to write a hundred pages!

Kouya: Ehh, we’re gonna have to write that much??

Mike: Well, if I write down different curry recipes, it’ll be over quickly.

Hozumi: Senpai, excuse me! Can I say something?

Mitsuki: Uozu-kun, go ahead.

Hozumi: We…just swam normally, so I can’t really write about anything. What should I do?

Eventually Mitsuki shaves half the page count off their report –

Hozumi: Thank you-ssu!

Itto: [imitating Hozumi’s speech ending] Thank you-ssu!

– or does he split it halfways between the sophomore/freshman partners, because Minori speaks in response too? Either way, Kouya’s panicking, ‘cuz he has no way out of this and really needs Seijun’s help, ‘cuz damn, he’s forgotten everything to do with those castles by now, tbh. Seijun’s already done with his – what, a hundred pages??? Yes, Kouya, a hundred pages.

Seijun: Kouya. Don’t underestimate castles.

Okay, so the meeting is really over now. It’s time for souvenir time!

Hozumi: I’ve been waiting for this-ssu!

Kai: I’m excited to see everyone’s souvenirs!

Mike: Right? I’m really grateful I’ll get to eat everyone’s souvenirs soon!

Mitsuki: [chuckles] Me too!

With a drum roll – Minori and Kaoru bought everyone Japanese-style roll cake  (matcha flavor, most probably with red bean cream filling).

Kai: Enjouji-kun, it looks delicious, huh?

Seijun: Kaoru picked something so…normal.

It looks like a normal Swiss roll but they assure you, the flavor’s gonna be top-notch! They are the sweets connoisseurs after all.

From one connoisseur to another, Mike has Kai bring out the things they got for everyone (so notMentako’s March biscuits then, whew, thank god) – Hokkaido’s butter sandwiches and nama-choco! Itto sounds so excited at the prospect of chocolate, haha, so cute.

Speaking of Itto, he and Hozumi got sasa-dango from Niigata, which Mike, in turn, is totally excited about. Turns out Hozumi doesn’t know (?) you can get sasa-dango in Niigata, but Mike does (and he’s super excited to eat it, I’m sure). Itto comments that it smells really good, which is to be expected since well, bamboo leaves.

And the Ashihara-Yuyama (Kouya seriously truncated it like that, like the header of a wedding invitation, nice one) souvenir is…Tohoku’s yubeshi wagashi! Kaoru thinks Seijun’s choice of sweet is an interesting one, to which Seijun says he had Kaoru’s taste in sweets in mind when he saw that. Kaoru’s glad – finally, he understands!! Well, sort of. Maybe.

Last up is Mitsuki and Ryou and Aomori’s special apple pie – because it’s Aomori, it has to be apple pie, right? With everything rounded up, it’s tasting time!

Itto’s putting dibs on the nama-choco, while Kouya places his on the butter sandwiches. Kai’s taking the yubeshi, while Mike…while Mike, on the other hand, is already chomping through the sasa-dango without as much as a by-your-leave, already instructing Kai to get him yubeshi next.

Kai: A-ahh, there’s anko on the edge of your mouth! Here, hold still –

Mike: M-mghh, oi, stop using your clothes [to wipe my mouth]!

Mitsuki: [chuckles]

Minori’s getting apple pie, and Ryou and Mitsuki are getting the roll cake. Everyone eats happily (if I concentrate enough I could make out the single unbroken line of Mike’s happy munching, and also what seems to be Seijun talking about yubeshi), and the track fades to an end.


Translator’s note: Originally posted in two halves, dated 06/17/15 and 06/21/15!

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